The Art of Perfection
by lifeluver
Summary: In which Blaine tries to explain the concept of plot holes to Kurt and Kurt learns not to question good things.


Blaine was a truly wonderful boyfriend.

He knew this as certainly as he knew that he was a phenomenal singer and had fabulous hair. It wasn't questioned, it just was.

Which was why it was so disconcerting that Kurt hadn't clued into the fact that he was, in fact, the near ideal boyfriend. (In reality, he is the ideal boyfriend, but one quality that defines such a man is modesty, so he'll leave it to Wes and David to make such proclamations)

From the moment they kissed in that practice room - and what a glorious kiss it had been, six and a half minutes of pure bliss - Blaine had opened doors for his new boyfriend, given him foot massages, he even stood up when he walked into a room. But despite his efforts, once the excitement of the first few days had worn off Kurt had started eying him oddly when he made such gestures.

Thursday, when Blaine had tried to carry Kurt's books in the hallway, Kurt had gripped them tighter and continued walking and chatting. It had nearly knocked the breath out of Blaine, and he found himself glancing desperately around to ensure none of his classmates would bear witness to how un-gentlemanlike he was behaving with only his one history book in his arms.

He assumed Kurt's reactions had something to do with Pavoratti's recent death. After all, a pet bird's passing, like one's mother, was bound to shake one to their very core. Quite traumatic, he'd gathered from some online research.

But when Monday passed and Kurt still insisted on paying for his own coffee, (he'd tried to spring for Blaine's as well, with extra foam) Blaine knew he was going to have to talk to his new boyfriend.

"Kurt, I think it's time we had a talk."

Kurt's eyes went wide and wild, and god was that adorable, before he smoothed his face into an icy mask. "You're breaking up with me," he said levelly.

"What? No, never, why would you think that? I just wanted to check if something was wrong. You've seemed...off lately. Is it something I've done? Or haven't done?"

"No, Blaine, you've been perfect." Blaine nodded his agreement and Kurt seemed to steel himself to continue talking. "It's just, I've never done this before, I've never had a boyfriend. I guess I'm having trouble believing this is real."

Blaine was relieved. That wasn't his fault at all. "Well, this is all new to me too. We can figure it out together." He smiled his most winning smile, but it didn't seem to win Kurt over. It was odd; it always won people over. Maybe he needed to go to the dentist.

"I suppose," Kurt started uncertainly. "But when I first met you, you certainly seemed like you had a lot of experience."

"But Kurt, that was months ago," he laughed, waving off the comment. Kurt cocked his head curiously. "Is that what you're insecure about? Because that's nothing."

"Well, that, and sort of... you in general." Kurt's pale cheeks flushed deep red at that and Blaine felt his stomach sink.

"Me?"

"It's just, when you kissed me it was all I'd wanted for months, and I was so happy. But then I go to thinking about it and the more I did, the less sense it made. I mean, just last week you were telling me that my attempt at sex appeal looked more like I had bowel problems."

Blaine nodded; this was of course, factual. Kurt seemed to want more of a reaction. "Well, sure, but that was last week."

"Exactly!"

He had the odd sensation that they were making completely opposite points with precisely the same evidence. This had only occurred once before, and it had led to him receiving a C- in chemistry.

"And the week before we were arguing over bisexuality and you were dating my arch-nemesis, Rachel Berry!"

"Yes," Blaine allowed.

"Are you- are you really not seeing the point I'm trying to make here?"

"I've noticed you seem oddly fascinated with studying the minutia of our past interactions," Blaine offered, hoping he'd gotten the answer right.

"I-what?" Kurt looked utterly perplexed.

"That's all in the past, Kurt. We're dating now, what does that stuff have to do with anything?"

"Because," his boyfriend practically shouted, running a hand through his hair to make it stick up in the back. "The past always influences the present!"

Now it was Blaine's turn to be seriously confused. He contemplated that point for a moment before responding honestly, "I have never noticed that to be even remotely true."

"What do you mean, that's not true? Who you are in the past shapes who you become in the future, actions have consequences, stop shaking your head, Blaine!"

"Oh, Kurt, you spend too much time reading! That's just what parents say to their kids to scare them, it's not real."

Kurt looked ready to cry. "Oh my god, I'm dating a sociopath," he whispered before drawing his knees to his chest. It would be adorable if Blaine was not vaguely offended at that last comment.

"I'm not a sociopath. Think about it, Kurt. After we had that fight about bisexuality, what happened?"

Kurt stopped rocking back and forth long enough to consider this. "I went home for the weekend and then..."

"And then on Monday we had coffee as usual. No mention of it was made. Why? Because those actions no longer mattered. They were in the past." He didn't know exactly what it would look like to have your entire worldview crushed in front of you, but he thought that Kurt's face was a fairly accurate depiction.

"You can't count things that happen in the past, because once they're gone, they're no longer real. Monday comes, and it's an automatic reset. Anything nasty, unpleasant, or frustrating will be either ignored or changed completely!" Well, Blaine thought to himself, he'd explained that rather well. He did wish Kurt looked less like he was going to cry, though.

"But-but then this will be in the past eventually! What if we wake up next Monday and suddenly you hate me for no reason?"

"That would be unfortunate, but I sincerely doubt that will happen. Regardless, it doesn't matter."

Looking like he really didn't want to know the answer, Kurt muttered, "Why not?"

"Because that's the future! And everyone knows the future isn't real, Kurt."

Blaine decided the polite thing for a boyfriend to do was to go get some coffee. By the time he had returned, Kurt's whimpering had mostly subsided and he thanked Blaine for his drink. Blaine beamed. He had paid for the coffee. This chat had gone beautifully.

"So basically what you're saying is that I'm inhabiting a world where only the exact present has any remote bearing on our actions. I, and anyone around me, can change their attitudes, moods, and relationship status for no apparent reason on a whim, with no forewarning or consequences afterwards. And everything we do over the course of the week can be magically forgotten over the weekend so that we can start all over on Monday, usually to disastrous and occasionally repetitive results?"

Blaine nodded sagely. "Welcome to high school."

Kurt checked his watch. "Well then, we have four days nine hours and thirty seven minutes until Monday. Would you like to come up to the room that I'm apparently boarding in this week and make the most of our time?"

Kurt was a truly wonderful boyfriend.


End file.
